Today I'm listening in layers. I have Yo-Yo Ma playing baroque cello in the studio while on my laptop via grooveshark.com I'm listening to Sara Groves' "All Right Here." I'm all a-jitter. I'm too easily made anxious. Something's coming up that I'm looking forward to but I will either have to cut my time short w/ it or find a sub for a much-loved responsibility. I'm favoring cutting the new thing short. I'm also hoping on Monday to find out if there's an alternate date. Meanwhile I feel anxious. Part of me wants to say "so silly." But I'm not silly! This is my life! God made me with an anxious nervous-system. Who am I to say God's work is "silly?" (Smiling.) So I let my mind weave itself around two tracks: one calming and orderly, the other expressive of my restlessness. It's good. It helps me breathe. Lord, can You use my restlessness? Can You use my familiarity w/ anxiety? Surely Lord, You create only that which can glorify You! Use me, Lord. You are my whole raison d'etre. I love You Abba-Papa-Lord-Jesus-Christ-Holy-Spirit-Lover-of-my-soul-Eternal-One-Only-One-Beloved-Life-Life-LIFE-!!!! Praise be Your Holy Name! :)
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